NYYM Mentoring Program 2020-2021

 

Program Overview

The NYYM Mentoring Program is a ten-month program under the care of a Mentoring Advisory Committee, New York Yearly Meeting staff, the Spiritual Nurture Working Group, and ARCH. Through the program, “experienced” Friends are paired with young adult Friends (YAFs), who are looking to deepen their understanding of Quaker practice or who are seeking spiritual accompaniment, guidance, and/or support on their spiritual/life journey. Young adults will remain the focus of this program, and ​people in high school and people older than 35 who are new to Friends are also welcome to participate​. Should you not fit these criteria and are interested in seeking mentorship, please reach out to ​[email protected]​ or Lu Harper to schedule a time to speak about your needs. Click here to sign up!

 

 

Commitment to Inclusion & Responsiveness

 

The Mentoring Advisory Committee commits to embodying values of accessibility, equity, inclusion, and belonging in our systems, practices, and facilitation. We seek to create a program and spaces where mentors and seekers of all identities and circumstances feel safe, respected, honored, valued, and loved, and prioritize relationships and community above all else. The Committee is available as a resource should you have an experience that does not honor who you are.

 

Members of the Advisory Committee recognize that we are living in uncertain, volatile, and often frightening times. We therefore commit to being as responsive as possible to the emergent needs of both seekers and mentors, understanding that our goals might shift over the course of the program. We understand that this means being flexible where we can be and continuously striving to meet the needs of our participants who may be struggling or less able/available to participate due to responsibilities/dynamics beyond their control.

 

What Seekers in the Pilot Shared About Their Experience

 

“This was a wonderful opportunity to increase understanding of myself and place in the world through structured connection to someone with experience in the world.”

 

“I was very lost and alone in the darkness of the hardest moment of my life so far and I felt like I might never get my head above water again and the pain might never go away. Then this program was created and it responded to my needs better than I could have imagined to ask for.”

 

“This program has helped me find the words for my idea and experience of spirituality. And has given me the confidence and enough understanding to continue seeking as I grow up.”

 

“I feel healed. I felt heard and seen in ways I couldn't expect. Strengthening. Empowering. I feel that I am well supported.”

 

“I'm grateful for the gifts of connection and opportunities that Spirit has sent me via my mentor”

 

Program FAQs

Who should sign up?

 

Seekers are Friends seeking opportunities to receive, learn, grow, and/or deepen their Faith through mentorship. If this describes you, you should sign up if you:

  • can make the full commitment to the program; AND
  • are interested in building skills, knowledge, or expertise related to Quaker process and business;
  • can make the full commitment to the program; AND are interested in building skills, knowledge, or expertise related to Quaker process and business;

AND/OR

  • are interested in spiritual growth, formation, and deepening; AND/OR
  • are looking for spiritual accompaniment or friendship; AND/OR
  • are curious about spirituality, Quakerism, religion, or identity

 

Mentors are Friends who feel that they have something to share/offer/teach from their own experience (no matter the length of that experience. If this describes you, you should sign up if you:

  • can make the full commitment to the program
  • feel you possess the qualities and characteristics described in the question: Who will make a good mentor?

 

What’s the time commitment?

 

The program will run for ten months (October 2020-July 2021) and has three phases. The total time commitment will be approximately 40-hours, with heavier commitment in the first two phases.

 

The program’s priority is building relationships and community and active participation is therefore critical. Prospective mentors and seekers should carefully consider whether they can fully commit to the program and its expectations in terms of time, energy, and framework. To promote inclusivity, we will build in flexibility and choices wherever possible.

 

The following represents the approximate breakdown of the ten months:

  

Phase 1: Community & Foundation Building (October-November)

  • 90-min orientation (EITHER Thursday, October 8 from 7:00-8:30pm or Sunday, October 11 from 1:00-2:30pm)
  • Two, 60-minute peer discernment pod meetings
  • One, 30-minute discernment call with an Advisory Committee Member

**Prospective mentors are invited and welcome to attend these sessions, but it is not required

 

Phase 2: Mentor & Seeker Norming Period (November-December)

  • 90-min ​mentor​ orientation (EITHER Sunday, November 15 from 3:00-4:30pm or Wednesday, November 18 from 7:00-8:30pm)
  • Two, 90-minute norming sessions for ​both mentors and seekers​ (choose 2/4)
  • Mentors and Seekers may begin meeting one-on-one

 

Phase 3: Mentoring, Growth, Practice (January-July)

  • ≥ 2, virtual or in-person meetings per month between mentors and seekers
  • ≥ 2, 90-minute workshops attended by both seekers and mentors together
  • Optional worship sharing opportunities
  • Potential weekend retreat in the spring (if safe)

 

How do I sign up as a seeker?

 

Young Adult Friends, high school students, and Friends who are new to Quakerism who are older than 35 are welcome to sign up for this program. If you are seeking mentorship and have decided that it is a good fit for your life at this time, please fill out ​this interest form​ by Wednesday, September 30: http://bit.ly/nyymmentoringinterest2020. This form will ask you about your interest in the program, what you are seeking in a mentor-mentee relationship, and what you hope to focus on during the program. We understand that what you share here might change over the course of Phase I. Before and during Phase I, we will work to identify mentors for all seekers looking to be matched. We hope to finalize matches by early November.

 

How do I sign up as a mentor?

 

Friends of all ages (including young adults) are welcome and encouraged to sign up as prospective mentors for this program. If you are interested in serving as a mentor and have decided that it is a good fit for your life at this time, please fill out ​this interest form ​by Sunday, October 18: http://bit.ly/nyymmentoringinterest2020. The earlier you fill out the form, the more access you will have to Phase I activities. This form will ask you about your interests, preferences, skills, why you seek to be a mentor, what you feel you can contribute to a seeker, and what is important to you in a mentor-mentee relationship. Between mid-October and early November, prospective mentors ​might ​be interviewed by Advisory Committee members and/or seekers. We hope to finalize matches by early November.

 

Given various unknowns, it may be possible that not all mentors will receive a match but names will be held for future waves or in the case that a mentor has to drop out of the program. Mentors not selected will be kept in a database for future outreach and will be notified by mid-November about their status in the program.

 

Who will make a good mentor?

 

There is no prescribed formula for a good mentor, and we are seeking mentors of diverse experiences, perspectives, backgrounds, and personalities. Indeed, a mentor that is perfect for one person may not be what another person needs.

 

Mentors will possess many (but not necessarily all) of the following characteristics and qualities:

 

Approachable
Aware of personal privilege and bias Committed to diversity, equity, and inclusion Committed to positive growth
Connection maker
Conscious of confidentiality
Consistent
Creative and playful
Curious
Empathetic
Flexible
Good listener
Great at asking questions
Humility
Kind and supportive
Knowledgeable about Quaker faith and practice Loving and compassionate
Mindful of the third way
Nonjudgmental, seek to understand
On their own spiritual path
Open to experimentation
Open to feedback
Open to proposing perspectives rather than imposing them Open-minded
Patience
Resourceful and willing to share resources

 

What can I expect from the mentoring program?

 

The Advisory Committee will work to tailor workshops and engagements to the goals of the cohort. During the first two phases, seekers and mentors will:

 

  • meet one-on-one at least 2 times a month in the form that is most appropriate for the pair
  • identify at least two workshops of interest to attend together.
  • discern their goals, intentions, and hopes for the mentoring program in small discernment pods facilitated by a member of the Advisory Committee
  • be matched with a mentor/seeker based on what is learned and discerned.
  • collaboratively set goals and intentions to guide time together

 

During the third phase, seekers and mentors will:

 

  • meet one-on-one at least 2 times a month in the form that is most appropriate for the pair
  • identify at least two workshops of interest to attend together

 

What if I participated in the pilot program?

 

Continuing mentor/seeker pairs can choose participate in the program in one of three ways:

 

  1. Participate fully in the entire new program from start to finish
  2. Participate in workshops only
  3. Continue meeting independently of the program, with meetings and workshops open if they are led to attend; At a minimum, returning mentors and seekers who choose to continue independently will have access to a program point person in the case of challenges or questions.

Mentors and seekers who participated in the pilot program, chose NOT to continue their relationship, and are interested in participating again should fill out the ​interest form​ by the deadlines listed above.

 

What support is available to mentors and seekers?

 

All mentors and seekers will be assigned a point person from the Advisory Committee who will be readily available to answer questions and address concerns throughout the program. In addition, mentors and seekers will be supported by the Young Adult Field Secretary, SNWG, and ARCH, through:

 

  • Support calls as requested for mentors, seekers, or both
  • Readings/resources library
  • Continuous improvement and formative assessment calls

 

How many matches will be made?

 

We are not limiting the number of participants in the mentoring program and the Advisory Committee will make every effort to match all interested seekers with a mentor. We trust that the demand for mentorship will be met by Friends within our Body.

 

Given various unknowns, it may be possible that not all mentors will receive a match. Mentors not selected will be kept in a database for future outreach and will be notified by mid-November about their status in the program.

 

I have more questions. Who can I contact?

 

Please direct any questions about the mentoring program to ​[email protected]​ or Lu Harper. You can also call or text the Young Adult Field Secretary at 914-388-2759.

 

 

Note on Language

We recognize that the word mentoring suggests a power dynamic in which one person knows things and the other doesn’t. We seek to honor the passing of knowledge between Friends with different levels of experience without minimizing the gifts, Light, or power within either party. We affirm that there is great power in walking together on a spiritual journey, and that mentoring relationships are mutually-beneficial. We use the word mentoring and recognize that this program may include elements of spiritual accompaniment, spiritual friendship, apprenticeship, eldership, and other disciplines.