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epochs than in others, but the structure of the
spirit must be reared in every case in the face of real
difficulties.
--Rufus Jones, The Trail of Life in College, 1929 |
Children learn moral values at home by teaching and example. Friends can be patterns for their children of Christ-like love, self-discipline, and spiritual development. A parent has daily opportunities to show young people how to strengthen integrity through making minor as well as major decisions, for in the family children are introduced to an atmosphere of equality, simplicity, nonviolence, and justice. The family that lives in simplicity, for instance, does not need to preach it. Children who share in the division of household tasks not based on gender learn the importance of equality between men and women. Friends often express the peace testimony by refusing to buy war toys and refraining from corporal punishment. They help their children learn constructive uses of anger, the consequences of violence, and the dangers of addiction. The focus of discipline on loving guidance and setting reasonable limits rather than on harsh punishment helps children to learn self-discipline. Instilling in our children the Quaker principle of egalitarianism and respect for individual personhood will help them to live more harmoniously in their relationships with others.
As children and growing adolescents face the often destructive pressure of culture and conflicting community values, particularly in sexual practices, parents should guide young people to recognize the importance of integrity by emphasizing the need for mutual trust and mature understanding in achieving a long-lasting intimate relationship. Parents will recognize that a truly committed sexual relationship is likely to be beyond the power of a young adolescent, and they will encourage abstinence.
Undergirding a Quaker family is the community of Friends, which bears corporate and individual responsibility for the meeting's children. Meetings should invite and integrate children and young people into as many of their activities as possible and cultivate their gifts. They should recognize that children and young adults can often do jobs and share insights within