How to Talk to Children and Parents After a Disaster

From the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

• Any catastrophe, whether natural or man-made, is frightening to children and adults alike.
• It is important for adults to acknowledge the frightening aspects of it with children.
• Falsely minimizing the danger will not reassure, but a calm demeanor will provide a sense of safety.
• Parents can support their children by allowing them to express feelings about the recent disaster, and letting them know that it is normal to feel upset. Reassure them: tell them that you love them, and will take care of them.
• Be available and give them extra time and attention during the days following a disaster, not only for talks related to the disaster, but for other conversation, or just hanging out.
• Parents should know that a child's age will affect how he or she responds to the disaster. For example, a four-year-old may show concern by wanting to sleep in the parents' bed, an eight-year-old by missing school (perhaps by feeling or becoming ill), and a teenager by arguing more with parents.
• Parents need to monitor their children's exposure to television and radio coverage of a disaster. Viewing or listening to graphic news may cause further trauma, and/or desensitize a young person to violent aspects and their consequences.
• It's also important to help children and adolescents process whatever news they do receive of a disaster. Young people may believe that "nothing like that" would ever happen to them. Such ideas should be explored in a supportive way that also gently reminds a young person that certain kinds of disasters can touch any of us. Conversely, a young person may feel extremely vulnerable upon hearing about a disaster that has occurred far away. These children should be encouraged to express their fears, and then gently but firmly remind them that most people survive disasters of all kinds, and that they themselves are currently quite safe.
• Children's and parents' reactions to a disaster may continue for a long time after the event itself, and may be upsetting even years later. Obtaining counseling for a child or adolescent soon after a disaster may reduce long-term negative effects.
• Entire communities have reactions to disasters. It is important for parents to pay attention to their community's reaction, which may have a powerful impact on children and adults alike. Encourage those young people interested to participate in organized community responses (e.g., food distribution sites, ceremonies).
• Replaying the disaster with available toys may be one way younger children can develop a sense of mastery and minimize their anxiety about the traumatic event. This is similar to an adult retelling his/her experience.